Monday, 15 January 2018

The What Kate Baked...and Baby Guide to Returning to Work after Maternity Leave:



The dream: a glorious morning latte and read of the papers on the way to work. The reality: 'Gagh-we're-late-no-where-to-park-outside-nursery-have-I-remembered-everything-be-nice-to-your-brother' on repeat

To coincide with my return to work (and not just work, a new job at that) this week after a glorious, sleep deprived maternity leave with the second-born apple of my eye, I give you The What Kate Baked...and Baby Guide to Returning to Work after Maternity Leave

1. You will inevitably rock up with some type of baby bodily fluid on your neatly ironed work clothes. A snail-like trail of snot on your shoulder at best, the worst I will leave up to the imagination...

2. You may not have the latest office gossip, know the deli round the corner now does fancy-pants Veganuary Coconut Milk lattes but you do know the local leisure centre's softplay schedule backwards and do a mean Amanda Karmel Hidden Vegetable Sauce*

*NB: the kids always know. Of course they know you've tried to shoehorn about a zillion vegetables into a sauce. They just eat the pasta around it.

3. The week you are due to return to work you child will, of course, come down with chicken pox/forget how to sleep*/contract a perfectly harmless but highly contagious rash that means s/he can't possible go to nursery

* if you've been lucky enough to get one that does sleep in the first place that is.

4. You will have sleepless nights over the fact your sleep deprived baby brain will have forgotten absolutely every single aspect of your job... yet within seconds of walking through the door, it's as though you never gave birth to the light of your life and maternity leave never happened.

5. After dropping off the kids at childcare, you have a mild panic everytime you look in the rearview mirror and your child isn't there ... before you remember where they are. In a similar vein, you listen to your child's nursery rhymes CD the entire route to work before remembering you can now enjoy Radio 2/Clean Bandit's latest offering/a self-improvement mindfulness podcast

6. It slowly comes back to you that tea is supposed to be served hot, toilet trips are generally taken by oneself and biscuits don't need to be shared

But on a slightly less tongue-in-cheek note, for anyone returning to work soon, all the very best of luck, it will be hard, emotional leaving your little one and a bit of a juggle but it'll all be ok. At least that'd what I'm telling myself while I enjoy my last cold tea and singalong of Wheels on the Bus at rhymetime. 

1 comment:

  1. Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I'd like to follow
    you if that would be ok. I'm undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

    ReplyDelete

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